One often reads a quote from a volunteer who has been recognized for their many hours of service or some special effort made, that they get far more from the act of volunteering than they give.  These little truisms while sometimes trite become part of our cultural understanding precisely because they are true.

While living a near hermit-like existence, I prefer Thoreau-like however; I discovered the need for more human contact than the grocery checkout allows.  I found my perfect volunteer fit at my small town library.  What better place to use my time and talents than surrounded by books and the people who love them!

The first benefit is the warm greeting received upon each arrival.  One does not generally expect such enthusiasm arriving at work, and unless you own a dog, arriving home.  A volunteer is a valued commodity, not just free labor, but a giver of the labor of love; and is treated as such.  When a day begins dreary and bleak, there is nothing better to revive the spirit than to step into a place where one’s value is appreciated and thankfulness for time given is generously bestowed.

Once one has chosen a good fit, the other people met may be a good fit as well.  Finding others that share common interests and activities is more likely if the place or task that time and talent are applied is reflective of one’s passion.  To be understood is a very human craving and spending time with others sharing a common passion is an opportunity to add another layer of understanding of oneself and to be known in a particular manner.

The activities of the volunteer effort will of course vary as widely as those who offer themselves to the task.  With each act comes an opportunity to find some part of oneself and bring it forth to good use.  Some long-forgotten talent, some deep reserve of patience, some bit of inspiration; all are likely to rise up at the time most needed.  Taking action out of love and choice opens the wellspring of creativity and energy.

In the search for happiness, looking beyond oneself is to find a different sort of joy that is easily incorporated with one’s inner sense of peace.  Choosing an activity for the sheer joy of it, being rewarded in a myriad of ways, and adding another layer of value to oneself; the volunteer does in fact gain far more than they give.

“It is always the false that makes you suffer, the false desires and fears, the false values and ideas, the false relationships between people. Abandon the false and you are free of pain; truth makes you happy, truth liberates.”    ―      Nisargadatta Maharaj

Sincerity in thought and action is a lofty goal.  To be fully happy, an honest life filled with honest relationships remains the only course.  Set aside all façade and pretense to find the truth of ourselves and our relationships.  Staring at the naked truth however, is often painful and distressing; it is not attractive at first glance, nor does it make us comfortable at the onset. This is the extreme version of “happiness doesn’t always make you happy”.  Truth can be damning, haunting, pain-streaked, fearful.  Yet to lie to oneself or to allow others to lie, is to remove all opportunity for good choices and actions that can lead us to our best selves.

Hiding from truth requires a daily dose of rationalization, creating an artificial world to prop up the fiction we are protecting.  The time spent maintaining the artifice steals time from the development of our inner lives.  How does one create a happy healthy inner world when some corner of it is populated by the falsehoods we have come to rely on?

Examining false beliefs, false values, false relationships seems like a rocky road to travel for a little happiness.  The pain of the falsehoods is the greatest roadblock in our path.  Discarding the false in one’s life can be difficult; a process one might choose to avoid,  but  the inherent pain of our own dishonesty causes far more damage.  Once the lie is tossed aside and the truth stands in its place, our choices are far clearer, our burden of protecting false beliefs lifts, and we are free to move about in a world we can trust.

“We must be willing to let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the life that is waiting for us.”  ~ Joseph Campbell

This quote may seem contrary to all that I have written about making choices, taking hold of one’s life and not bobbing along like a cork in a stream.  But life is not so simple.  Sometimes plans fail and another choice is presented in its place.  When paying attention in the moment, there comes a time when it is obvious the plan one has laid out for oneself will not take the intended path.  Instead, another avenue is placed in front of us.  We still have the choice whether to follow it or not, but staying open to another life plan is part of claiming one’s happiness.

The unexpected is just around the corner and offers a direction one had not considered. There are so many plot changes along the way that it is somewhat arrogant to assume one can completely direct one’s life.  The athlete, carefully planning each move, until the day that a career ending injury occurs; the carefully plotted professional path that dead-ends the day the industry becomes obsolete; the anticipated family that is lost to infertility; so many obstacles to address and overcome.

To not accept, and rail against the loss of a plan that is no longer viable is to become stuck in a spiral of defeat.  With acceptance comes the opportunity to look through the doors that have opened, and take the chance to redefine oneself in light of the new circumstance.  The cycle of loss and acceptance is no doubt one of the most difficult, to find a means to use it to the best advantage and continuing to take charge of the choices presented, is a coping strategy for the inevitable disappointments in life.

A life plan needs to have room for life, the fluid, tempting, taunting thing that fills the hours and days.  Look carefully at what you find in your path, possibly it is the plan life has for you.

I took the above photo  this morning, the lingering effect of an all day snowfall yesterday.

The season comes slowly in my world with fits and starts.  The locals call this season sprinter since it is never quite spring and falls back into winter with abandon.  I still need to keep the wood stove going to warm the house, yet some days the sun is so warm that working in a tank top outdoors is comfortable.  It is a frustrating time of year as well.  After thinking all winter about the things one wants to accomplish in the spring, it seems to never arrive with the desired timing.

Like so much of life the timing is rarely to our liking.  We have to be at work too early, the movie starts too close to dinner or too late to get home at a reasonable time.  We are contrarian in that way, we want things to happen in just the right way in just the right time, but in fact there isn’t a perfect time at all.  Trying to adjust one’s body rhythm to a different schedule, aligning oneself with the timing of another can be a daily struggle.  I want spring weather when the equinox is upon us, not weeks later.  But it is not mine to choose.

Cultivating patience instead of a garden is called for now.  It is certainly one of my faults and is common enough in this hurry-up world.  Allowing myself to sense the pace of the day or the season and adjust to it and not fight it is my personal battle.  Being in the moment is all well and good unless one is waiting for spring.  So for today, I will stop waiting, admire the beautiful mix of the lush green new grasses coated with dollops of whipped cream snow and know that this too is spring.

“Enough is abundance to the wise.” — Euripides

Recognizing what we have when we have it is one of the most obvious ingredients in the happiness recipe.  It is human nature to look ahead, to plan, to dream; as it is to look behind to examine, analyze.  Staying in the moment is often a difficult proposition and one that takes applied effort and concentration at times.  At others it is so easy to become caught up in the present and to let go of everything but the now.  When we are fully present whatever we have or do is enough for that moment.  It is only in thinking forward or back that it becomes lacking.

We are also comparative beings, observing what others have and pitting that against our own.  We are often instructed in religion and mythology to compare ourselves to those who have little, to gain greater appreciation for our own situation.  But comparisons in either direction cause us to view our place relatively as opposed to in the immediate.  And in the immediate is where gratification lies.  In any given moment we have the gift to see what we have and cherish it, instead we all too often find it wanting in comparison to some idealized view of what we might have.

Continuing one’s focus on the present, paying attention to the gifts in our lives, knowing in our wisdom that we are at peace with little or much; we proceed on the journey of becoming our best selves, moment by moment.

There are applications for a smart device that can help you do just about anything.  But when was the last time you asked a friend or relative for help?  Children must ask for help often and for what seems, to an adult, simple things.  As we grow older we view it as a sign of independence, a hallmark of our competence to go it alone.  The millions of apps out in the cyber world point to the fact that it is not always possible or desirable to go it alone.  Once we realize that a task cannot be managed without help, a problem not solved without sound advice, who or what do we turn to?

Asking for help can forge a stronger relationship and sense of community.  Asking a neighbor to help you figure out how to deal with the tree in their yard that keeps dropping debris on your lawn brings a different response than demanding the problem be addressed.  Opening oneself to a certain vulnerability in asking for help, is to lower ones defenses and let another person a little closer.  Asking a co-worker to give you a hand with a two person task, gives them permission to do the same with you the next time they need assistance.  Creating an opening through asking for real and necessary help is a means to connect with others in your life.  As we allow the connections to grow, so grows trust, and in time one’s overall sense of belonging and happiness.

Reaching out, instead of reaching in your pocket for your device, grows the human connection that we thrive on as social beings.  There is an app to tell you when the next bus is due, but asking the person also waiting  could begin an entire conversation with someone who has something of value to add to your life.  Allowing yourself to be open, connecting and at times vulnerable creates the opportunity for surprising and often delightful results.  Reach out, ask, and discover.