For those of you who followed my year of writing daily, you know that it was never a personal lifestyle blog. Other than the About Me section, what you found were explorations of thoughts and ideas. That will not change. But since it has been a very long time since that one amazing year, I thought I should bring my previous followers up to date and introduce myself to new readers. More than four years have passed since I last posted to this blog. Four years filled with learning and growth, accomplishments large and small, love and loss, and always, change.
In the intervening years my mother died and I struggled with how to mourn and remember her. I loved my second hand rescue dog fiercely right up to the moment we held him as he sighed his last and well beyond. I learned a lot about mental health crises and family dynamics. My life was filled with long stretches of living alone or effectively so. At the same time I became a rather adequate grower and preserver of vegetables and fruits, I grew in confidence building things using power tools and providing for myself with a chainsaw, a wood splitter, and a strong motivation to stay warm through the long Montana winters.
We are all confronted by life in different ways and even in very similar situations our responses vary dramatically. It seems we pay the least attention when most days are very much like the one before and the one to follow, it is only when the phone call comes, or an unexpected knock at the door that we are compelled to pay attention. In many ways I suspect that living a lifestyle closer to nature and self sufficiency demands one’s attention in ways that other ways of living do not. It is unwise to ignore the incoming storm, or the voracious garden pests, when you have come to depend on wood for warmth and the bounty of your labor for food. It is a little harder to drift through the days, forethought and planning for basics tends to focus one’s attention in ways that a day planner filled with appointments does not.
And then, it what seemed like a frozen moment in time, we sold our home and moved to a townhouse in suburban Connecticut. The last six months I have been floundering in unfamiliar waters. I was born, raised, and have lived in the West. Whether it was in a suburb or our mountain home, it was the West. In my short experience the East Coast is startlingly different. There is no doubt in my mind that I will ever be anything other than a woman of the West trying to figure out how to make the best of this radical change.
Suddenly there are no attention grabbing demands. The days bleed together and the picture of my life is blurred and uncertain. I am yet again confronted with trying to imagine myself in this latest iteration and wondering how at an age where many are deeply settled and enjoying the investments made in home, friendships, and family, I am rootless and tumbling yet again. Perhaps that is the only way I grow, rip the roots out and begin again. I am an annual in a world of perennials.
We each have our constants though, even if we lose sight for awhile. In my life it is words. Whether written or spoken, by myself or others, words continue to fascinate and engage me. Word play, word games, simple stories or complex tales, I can give myself over for hours on end. And there at last and again I find the seed to start in this new garden. Join me as I return to exploring ideas and inspirations. As always I appreciate your feedback and look forward to reading your work as well.