I discovered to my astonishment when I went to update my WordPress account that I had last posted on New Year’s Day of 2013. Those who have followed my blogging journey know that I have fallen away from writing from time to time, but a year? Last year was a moment, a lifetime, a daily slog. In the end I added another slab of clay to a life mostly molded with a strong and recognizable shape. My sculpture grew in some ways predictably, in others, less so. My gardening became a massive bounty of produce that I never anticipated; shared with friends and strangers I never met. I taught myself to preserve that same bounty in lovely sparkling jars now gracing my pantry shelves. I learned new things about myself and others as well as what makes a great garden grow.
After a patchy go at trying to fill in the gaps for work and personal growth, taking college classes that aided both but never added up to that coveted piece of paper; I charted a course to finally achieve that, until now, elusive goal. To that end I stepped back into a college classroom a few weeks shy of my 60th birthday and discovered that instead of feeling old, I felt experienced. I took a single class that set me off in a new direction, with enthusiasm and excitement I lacked during every previous college experience.
For the first time in my life I chose to suspend my disbelief and open my heart to faith. I learned quickly it is not an epiphany but a way of living; constantly reminding myself to open my heart and ask for grace in all things. I never realized that the practice of believing can lead to belief, rather than having belief which is then practiced. I know there are many gifted with the later, but it took a wise man of God to suggest that the opposite might work for a searching, but Doubting Thomas such as myself.
The grand and the minutia and all the daily bits of life sandwiched between; when one reflects back on a year, each has its role and place in memory. Five years from now, which bits will remain and built upon? Which bits will drift away into the mist and leave little reminder. Even though we seek to live lives of value and honesty, it is a perplexing effort, trying to know which things will linger and add to the fabric of our lives. In this especially then, I wish all of you the grace to believe, and the opportunity to offer your experience and wisdom to those around you.
Happy New Year 2014 ~ C