What are you adding to the world?  Pause between texting a friend to meet for coffee and running to the store to consider.  Everyone has daily obligations that take up so much of the limited time available.  But in the end, the very end, what has each of us done to make this place different as a result of our existence?

Many would point to having children and the lasting legacy of future generations.  Once a life is added to the universe it ceases to be the accomplishment of the parent and becomes the achievements of the offspring.  There are certainly the careers that put one in the position of having an impact on one or many.  Most of us will never have a direct effect on world peace or any of the other global problems.  But the actions of the one; the effort to really make a difference, can have the ripple effect to carry it far beyond individual reach or imagination.  The small daily kindness, really seeing a stranger and their need, touching another with the best part of yourself, all have lasting results.

Stepping outside of one’s routine to create opportunities to give some piece of yourself is soul stretching and feeds the inner happiness in ways that little else offers.  Put down the coffee and the phone and ask yourself, what, right now, can I do that will make a difference?

“Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.”  Leo Buscaglia

Exploring deeper wider rivers of thought has been a daunting process recently.  The quote above reminded me of a few things.  The first of course, is the power of the small acts in life.  Concepts that seem almost too large for the mind to comprehend need to be broken down into small manageable parts.  Small honest acts of caring are the doorway to understanding the human spirit and the path of selflessness.

One of the most exciting things that I have discovered in reading and researching to write daily, are the bonds that hold all of life and humanness together and unite even the most disparate and unrelated thoughts.  Examining the web of connectivity is at once reassuring and fascinating.

In each small act of kindness there is a small drop of selflessness.  When one acts altruistically, the action itself has the effect of uniting our soul and body through our spirituality.  While thought and meditation can offer insight, these small acts cement the bond of our best inner self to our outward manifestation, our persona.  Through these actions we gain greater understanding of ourselves and the value of spiritual positivity.  It is not just the gentle touch or the genuine compliment that  makes a difference to another; it is the energy of kindness that flows from us to another that can surprise and comfort in a few words.

The need to believe that we are not alone, that we are tethered somehow to this life through those around us is a powerful human desire.  This invisible web does not bind so much as hold us aloft, it is at once elastic and unbreakable.  Each small gesture lightly places another gossamer thread tying each of us to a larger purpose.

“You are not a human being in search of a spiritual experience. You are a spiritual being immersed in a human experience.” Pierre Teilhard de Chardin

Instead of searching for a spiritual experience, we need to look inward for our spiritual self.  One definition of the spirit is a mediator between the body and soul.  The goal of this mediation is to bring the body and soul into harmony and unity.  Embracing one’s spiritual self and delivering the harmonious and united result into the human experience gives each of us the opportunity to fully immerse in the human experience without risking the loss of self.  Thus our harmonious self is grounded, stable and secure and at the same time open to the unique opportunities that present themselves.

Looking outwardly for the thing that already resides within ultimately will be futile and we will miss the very things that are present in the moment.  We discover the joy of the human experience when we plunge into life with abandon and wonder which live in the spiritual self.  This too, like selflessness, demands thought and contemplation to bring the detached parts of our body and soul together.  Becoming our best selves is not for the faint of heart as it takes work and a dedication to discovery and change.

The rewards for this effort are limited only by the opportunities we seize within the human experience.  This rich full life we seek begins within and comes to fruition as we take our inner resources and use them to the greatest benefit for those we find in our path.

“We are formed and molded by our thoughts. Those whose minds are shaped by selfless thoughts give joy when they speak or act. Joy follows them like a shadow that never leaves them.”

Hindu Prince Gautama Siddharta, the founder of Buddhism

Selfless:  Having little concern for one’s own interests

Acting and thinking selflessly is a great challenge.  Trying to step outside oneself and think only of others when the daily habit of thought is a nearly continuous stream of “I” phrases.   When was the last time you stepped up and said or did something with no regard for the consequences to yourself?  It is an uncommon act, perhaps the very definition of courage.  The selfless act of bravery occurs without thought.  So how does one think selflessly?

It is hard to wrap one’s mind around this concept, at once so foreign and complex.  To think selflessly means to give oneself no thought or consideration, to stretch the thought process so far beyond the norm.  It is to imagine on a large scale, to solve problems far outside the personal, to put one’s abilities to use in dramatically new ways.  I don’t claim to be able to give much direction as the concept of thinking selflessly is new, somewhat overwhelming and difficult, but I would like to explore how one reaches for such lofty goals.

Stillness may be a starting point.  To slow to a stop the routine thoughts of daily living, to smother the “I’ thinking for a bit.  In the stillness an openess may reveal itself and in that open fertile field, selfless thinking may be cultivated.  If this sounds like meditation, it most likely is one way to find this open place.  The practice of shifting one’s thinking so radically does require tools that may be equally foreign as the thoughts we are searching for.  I am curious about the joy of selflessness, to encourage that joy to shadow me and become a piece of who I hope to become.  The entire concept and process are new and mostly unknown to me; this will be a journey of exploration and experimentation, while I push beyond my limitations of thought and reach toward the selfless.

How often do we hold ourselves back with our assumptions?  Presuming we know something about ourselves when in fact we have not been tested?  It is so easy to say, “that class would be too hard, that type of book does not interest me, I never like new foods”; each of us has a list of things we believe that may prevent growth and understanding.

Erasing assumptions challenges one to look at every new opportunity with a fresh eye and an open mind and heart.  One may avoid circumstances that are unfamiliar or one that experience tells us was unpleasant.  Even when confronted with a past event for guidance, the situation or timing may be different. “I tried that once and didn’t like it” seems fair, but look more closely at the when and where of that occasion to see if there has been some minute change since the previous exposure, a subtle difference that would alter the outcome.  Most have had such an experience with food; rejecting one as a child only to find a fondness for it as an adult.  Reexamining the assumption and giving a new try to a previous reject can open a door to a new-found pleasure.

The broader assumptions are tougher, the things we believe we know about ourselves in less specific ways.  Breaking down a firmly held belief when a new situation presents itself requires digging deep for fearlessness, imagination and curiosity.  Take for example, “that class is too hard, I might fail”.  Breaking that statement down into the components of what we find hard, and whether it matters if we do fail, helps us to decide if the assumption is holding us back from an opportunity to grow.  When we put our minds to the creative work-around to carry out an act we previously thought undoable; not only is the satisfaction of trying the new with some success the reward, but we have used our creativity in a concrete manner.

Our assumptions must stand up to our best judgment or be challenged if we are to broaden our horizons and let go of the constraints of self-talk that is unexamined.  Just as making assumptions about another person can close off the chance to add value to your life, so can making assumptions about yourself.

“Manners are the happy ways of doing things; each once a stroke of genius or of love, now repeated and hardened into usage”  Ralph Waldo Emerson

Why would manners have anything to do with happiness?  Manners are the means to smooth the rough edges off the coarseness of life.  The soft rounded corners are pleasing to the touch and the heart.  The simplest manners are those of showing respect such as arriving on time or of kindness such as holding a door for another.  Kind and respectful actions make us feel worthy and the responses we receive are generally grateful; positive reinforcement in the form of a smile or a kind word.

Viewing oneself as kind, generous and respectful is satisfying and brings its own reward in feeling good.  The stress of running late, dealing with someone who is rude in response to our actions, struggling when it is unnecessary, do not add to wellbeing.  The simple manners are the natural result of thoughtfulness, kindness, an awareness of the needs or discomfort of others.

The more complex manners I believe come from a need for familiarity and order.  Setting a table in a prescribed fashion, using the utensils in a specified manner, are inclusive actions of a cultural norm.  It is a way of saying, “we are from the same place with the same concept of order”.  We are more relaxed and comfortable when the rules are known and thinking about which fork to use does not occupy a moment of thought.  Learning the complex rules can be a task if one is not born to them, is transplanted from a different culture, or has difficulty in recognizing and understanding the cues of others.  The rewards of fitting in and feeling comfortable are worth the effort.  The best way to acquire the most common of these is through observation.  Whether it is scouting out the employees of a potential employer to learn the proper attire for an interview, sitting back and watching the interaction of the members of a lunch group you have been invited to join, mindfulness comes in to play here as well.

Beyond the complex manners are the archaic manners, no longer applicable in today’s world that give us insight into our past and in many cases are the precursors to more modern manners.  No matter the degree from simple to archaic, to be mindful of one’s impact on another, choosing a positive impression instead of an oblivious or negative one connects us to others in a warmer, sincere way.  The small niceties create happiness whether generated or reflected.

“Sunshine is delicious, rain is refreshing, wind braces us up, snow is exhilarating; there is really no such thing as bad weather, only different kinds of good weather.”  John Ruskin

Such a lovely perspective and attitude, but I may have to work especially hard to appreciate the downpour that  started this morning and continues.  This is a perspective that is especially hard for me.  It not only puts a dent in what I can do for the day, but it makes it difficult to avoid the “if only” list in my mind.  I would really be happy that it is raining if I had a garden planted, if I didn’t have so many weeds that need to be treated or cut back, if I had a crop that was benefitting; I could go on and on.

So how does one turn something that is negative, at least to that person, into a positive?  I suppose the altruistic approach is one.  The farmers and ranchers are happy to see the rain.  Not working.  It will keep the dust down for a little longer.  Maybe.  The single wildflower I spotted yesterday may have cousins that appear after this downpour.  One can only hope.  Above the valley as I am, I am floating in a cloud, all the edges of my world softened by the mists and the steady rain.  Beauty works.  The air smells so clean and the scent of the pines is pronounced.  Sensory awareness, good one!

The work to turn our thoughts from the negative to the positive can be strenuous and at times hardly seems worth the effort, which of course is the negativity shouting to drown out the happiness that is so elusive at times.  Spending the time, in this case a good hour, to turn the tide of the next twenty-three is worth it when viewed proportionally.  It is a useful reminder that choosing to be happy takes mindfulness, determination to turn unhappiness aside, and effort to find  one’s happiness on the internal compass.

Will I be dancing in the rain? Maybe not.  But I will spend the day looking for the positives, paying close attention to the birds, wildflowers and grasses that all seem to be dancing in the rain.

“Dreams are like stars…you may never touch them, but if you follow them they will lead you to your destiny.” Lawrence Block

Dreamers and their dreams are often discounted as frivolous, especially if those dreams remain unrealized.  Looking at one’s dreams as the guiding star instead of a goal  relentlessly pursued, allows us to dream with no limit to the imagination.  Stars do not offer much in the way of illumination and are not something we would ever expect to reach out and grasp; but the North Star can guide us home.  We can allow our dreams to do the same.

Making plans, setting goals, outlining and completing the steps  to reach them make up so much of the process we see as moving life forward.  We cast our eyes to the path at our feet and focus on each carefully placed step.  Glancing now and again upwards to our dreams, to the stars, is a reminder there is something bigger, with grandeur and unlimited scope.  Lifting the cloud of limitations, glimpsing the distant starlight of our most expansive secret hopes and dreams, frees us from the weight of a carefully plotted path and gives our soul a moment to soar.

Dreams that are present in our lives, even as we pursue our goals, open doors to unexpected opportunities.  Life has a way of throwing the unexpected in our path, even if it is only something we had never thought of, or a thing so wholly new that it went unconsidered simply for the lack of knowing.  If we are allowing our dreams to act as our guiding star the unexpected glows in the starlight and gives us pause.

Daring to dream, giving imagination wings, removing self-imposed limits; heady stuff for the goal-oriented planner.  Dreaming gives way to growing beyond our own small selves.  Finding one’s destiny is the fortunate result of dreaming.  If the heart is set free where will it go?

If we stop to take a moment, wherever we are and whatever we are doing, there is always something else to experience or see that we might miss if we had not turned our attention to it.  Yesterday as I was packing up the car, two geese sailed in and landed in the catch basin that we euphemistically refer to as a pond.  This is a rare occurrence as there are many place that geese would find more interesting, but perhaps in the thunderstorm, they were just looking for shelter.

Shortly after turning on to the Interstate, driving parallel to the river, I noticed a bald eagle sailing low to the water.  Another glimpse at the river in Idaho rewarded me with an opsprey diving and then shooting back into the air, fish grasped in its talons.  The calves  and lambs are younger in this open part of the country than the more sheltered pastures closer to home.  Observing the natural world as I drove, connected me to it even though I was moving south at the speed limit.

The entire eastern Rocky Mountain region was swathed in thunderstorm formations with a variety of shapes and colors.  Surrounded on all sides by towering mountains and massive thunder heads, I continued south from forest to prairie to high desert; the change of habitat and the lessening signs of regular rainfall marking my progress.

This morning I head back with my new friend, Murray.  He seems a very easy dog, with good manners and is likeable in the way that labs are.  I’m sure there will be some adjustments when we get back to the mountains, he has been a southern dog all of his life.  But for today we will keep an eye out for raptors and other interesting sights and I am sure Murray will collect plenty of new smells during our stops on the way.  Watching Murray, to whom life is only this moment; no future and no past, will be my constant reminder to stay in the moment and appreciate all that is around me.