“From the backstabbing co-worker to the meddling sister-in-law, you are in charge of how you react to the people and events in your life. You can either give negativity power over your life or you can choose happiness instead. Take control and choose to focus on what is important in your life. Those who cannot live fully often become destroyers of life.” ― Anaïs Nin
A wise woman once said the “misery doesn’t just love company, it loves miserable company”. How many times are we drawn into the circle of complainers at work, or become trapped hearing out the drama of a friend’s latest encounter. It is so easy to join in, to become miserable along with the others and before we know it we have our long list of injustices and disagreeable events. To be brought down to the level of the most miserable of the group is an easy enough occurence and takes strength and determination to stay neutral in the face of that much unhappiness. Yet, participating does harm us and we can risk losing our ability to reframe to the positive.
As a daily goal to be happy and to apply the tools we have to find happiness, it is also wise to actively avoid unhappiness and misery. It is not to say that one cannot offer help to a friend or loved one who is in a difficult situation, but to become caught up in a cycle of complaining about something with no interest in a solution, is to undermine our best efforts to be a happier person. When confronted with a miserable person looking for company in their misery it is important to remember that offering assistance and trying to be helpful will benefit both of you, joining in the misery benefits no one.
We make choices large and small each day and to take that brief moment to decide if the choice is one that adds to our overall happiness or subtracts from it is time well spent.